You Can Become A Dating Guru

13 Jul

When I was first asked to review a book I was all, “Great!  I can be a prestigious, well-respected, nay FEARED, literary critic. When I received the book I was all, “Crap.  How am I going to explain my reading of this book to my husband?”  It’s for ART, I told him.  It’s for the INTERNET, I further told him. The book was sent for FREE, by the AUTHOR, who might one day be FAMOUS, and who included a handwritten note on a pink INDEX CARD.  And he was all, “OK.”  So, without further ado, here is my review of the book entitled 11 Points Guide to Hooking Up, by Sam Greenspan.
1. Even if you’re a person in a committed relationship (married even) you’ll find this book enjoyable. The author is knowledgeable, funny, and…funny. It’s a funny book. Who doesn’t like funny books? Some of the information will be a bit distasteful to you (especially if you’ve spent a lot of time protesting the elimination of your pubic hair, or protesting the idea of threesomes), but overall it is a solid read.
2. If you’re not in a committed relationship, this could pretty much be your bible. The author has taken real-life experience and applied it to a ton of 11 point lists that will help make your dating life easier and more fruitful. He comes off as an expert. I guess he’s been on a lot of dates.
3. THE BAD: I wish he’d organized the lists differently. But that’s just me. I’m an old married chick. So I wish he’d organized the lists in a way that leads the reader to their ultimate destination of either perpetual singlehood or blissful commitment. The list in the “Dilemmas” chapter that talks about things you should do before you’re ready to settle down shows up in the last part of the book, but it’s surrounded by breaking up lists, so for me it would have worked better to organize the lists in order of least-committed information to most-committed information. But that’s just me. THE GOOD: How the heck did the guy write so many lists about dating and relationships?
4. Footnotes. There is nothing I love more in a humorous book than footnotes that are funnier than the text itself. Think Good Omens or A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius but more comprehensible and less pretentious.
6. Simpsons References. If you read his site, you will expect them in the book. If you’ve never read his site, they are a pleasant surprise.
7. Other delicious references. Hall and Oates? Miami Vice? Maid in Manhattan? How the Grinch Stole Christmas? Is nothing sacred to his guy? I hope not.
8. He wrote me a personal note. On a pink and white index card. So the whole time I read this book (and I read the WHOLE book, unlike a lot of book reviewers) I got to use the adorable pink index card as a bookmark.
9. It’s fun for a boy and a girl. This book is great for guys. In fact, I wish that all the guys I dated in my early twenties had a future time machine and had read this book. Actually, no I don’t. They would have been way too smart. And, as much information as this provides a man in the dating world, it’s that much better for women. Because it’s written by a man. And now we know how men think. Silly Sam. Did you even think of that?
10. The drawings cracked me up big time. The author talks about his word limit and lack of graphic capabilities a bit in the book, and I think he said he drew all the diagrams himself and if that is the case I say BRAVO. I loved them.
11. It’s only the beginning. Since the author of this book is also the owner of a website that posts top 11 lists of practically EVERYTHING, it is only a matter of time before he puts out another book on something else. Something practical, that we all need to know. Like 11 Points Guide to Becoming a Gazillionaire, or 11 Points Guide to Cheating Death. The pressure’s on now, Sam. Don’t let me down.


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